A Tale of Two Goaties

Once upon a time there was a handsome prince named Hamish. Prince Hamish wanted nothing more than goats milk to fill his rumbling belly.

"Mother dearest," said Hamish, very eloquently for a 3 month old human, "Would you be an absolute darling and fetch me some fresh goats milk?".

Being a loving mother, Hamish's mum left Hamish asleep in his climate controlled, hermetically sealed crib, where the radio is always tuned to Classic FM, much to Daddy's chagrin.

Mummy came across a large white animal whose name was Creampuff. "Are you are goat?" Mummy asked. "No, I'm an Alpaca" replied Creampuff.

Mummy approached a large, light brown animal but before mummy could ask anything she rudely pushed past mummy saying "Get out of my way, I want my food!".

"Goodness me!" said mummy, a little flabergasted, "who was that?". "That was Callisto. My name is Grace Kelly. How are you?". "I'm fine, now" replied mummy. "Are you a goat?". "I'm a Cria, a baby Alpaca" said Grace Kelly.

"We're all Alpacas here" said Penelope.

Then in unison, they said "You could ask over there...".

So mummy wandered in the direction suggested by the Alpacas and she came across two lovely little animals who introduced themselves as Pixie and Lala.

"Are you goats?" asked mummy. The goats replied "Yes!" and jumped around with glee. "Can I milk you?" mummy asked ever so politely.

"Only if I can eat your hair" said Lala. So mummy agreed and the milking began.

"I want you to cut down a willow tree with...a herring!" said Pixie. So mummy sent daddy off and when he returned, again the milking began.

When all the milking was over, mummy had got 100ml from each goat, not bad for their first milking.

"I wonder what goats milk tastes like?" mummy pondered aloud, so she had just a little taste (or two). "Delicious!" was the verdict.

...and young Prince Hamish was very happy indeed.